I will not be celebrating my 20th. Lame, I know. But I've come to realize that I'm just not into group gatherings where the attention is focused on me. Which is odd, because at one point the thought of being the center of attention actually appealed to me. I don't know what happened. I guess this must be me growing up? That or I've just become apathetic about everything. It's likely the latter. I'm surprised myself too, to be honest. But the truth is, I'm just too lazy to plan anything or care for that matter, even with the conveniences of Facebook Events. I'm just going to go buy myself a nice birthday gift, and call it a day. Happy Birthday to Moi! And no, I'm not being sarcastic. I actually, don't want anything to do with my 20th other than it giving me an excuse to binge-shop/compulse-buy with a guilt-free pass. Wow, when did I become so boring? Oh yeah, since I noticed my soul has been ripped out of my body and my sense of purpose is non-existent. Haha, I kidd. Sort of.

I also think I'm experiencing a mid-life crisis, at 19 going on 20. I cringed just typing up that last part. I can't believe my teen years are over. Sad face. But what can you do? Life's a bitch sometimes. More so lately, but I think I'm just in a rut. A big, fat, Grand Canyon sized rut.

"I don't know what to do with my life."

Up until now these words have been the story of life, but now that I actually realize that I'm not getting any younger (with the oh so subtle "BIG 2-0" slapped in my face), these words seem like a threat. And truthfully, I'm scared shitless. I'm tired of complaining about school and about how I want things to be different. They say life is what you make of it, and I believe them. Speaking as a spoiled only child, I'm used to getting what I want. I'm determined to make it happen. It's a promise to myself. Or in the least I need to give it an actual chance. The clock is ticking.

"Don't ask me how or why, but I'm gonna make it happen this time.

My teenage dream tonight, yeah I'm gonna make it happen this time. "

Did they tell you "You should grow up," when you wanted to dream? Did they warn you "Better shape up, if you want to succeed"? I don't know about you, who are they talking to? They're not talking to me.

I'm higher than high, lower than deep
I'm doing it wrong, singing along

Did I ask you for attention, when affection is what I need? Thinking sorrow is perfection,
I'd wallow 'til you told me:

"There's no glitter in the gutter, there's no twilight galaxy."

Red Velvet Goodness


I know this post is about two weeks too late, but I'm gonna post it anyways. I'm a firm believer in being fashionably late, you know, make them wait a bit. It keeps things interesting. Anyhow here are some of my favourite pics from my good friend Lan's 20th Birthday. She's the first of our group to reach the big 2-0. She's in the red by the way.


Trail Blazers..get it?

Cousins Looking Fierce

Janniqua and Bonniqua

Rebecca, Janny, Lan and I

It's crazy that I've known this girl since Grade 1. I was having a conversation today over coffee at Tim's (and no, I did NOT win anything today...I'm now 1/6) with another long time friend, about how we're the only people we know that still hang out with the same group they did from Elementary. It's inevitable that friends come and go as people (yourself included) grow up and change over time. New preferences are made, and people develop new perspectives even personalities for that matter. Sometimes it's a good thing, other times it's questionable. But that fact remains that people change. I especially find that most people as they transition from Elementary-->Jr. High-->High School, tend to switch their friend groups the most. I, however, pretty much stayed in the same circle of friends give or take a few, but the core of my friend group still exists. I'm still close to the friends that I once swung on monkey bars with, and for that I'm grateful. It's rare these days to have such a tight knit group of friends that have literally grown up with each other. So this post is dedicated to Lan, Janny, Avneet, and Feryaal (who is currently residing in Edmonton, and probably doenst even know about my blog, but I feel she deserves credit none the less). But don't get me wrong, I also really appreciate the new friends I've made througout the years, they mean just as much to me. Who else would I talk to about Gossip Girl, The Hills and other brainless televison shows, celebrity gossip, and current fashion trends/no-nos with? You guys are the best bitches I know and I say that with love ;)

"We're all mad here."

I went to Wonderland yesterday - well I watched Alice in it. As always, accompanied by my movie-going-childhood friend Avneet, I went to watch Tim Burton's lastest masterpiece/rendition of the classic tale by Lewis Caroll. I've heard people say that Lewis Caroll was high when he wrote the original story, or that this was a manifestation of a drug trip. Regardless, this will always remain one of my favourite stories. Wouldn't it be nice if for once in a while we could just escape our ordinary lives, and jump into a rabbit hole to a world of nonsense where we could have tea with the Mad Hatter? One could dream - that, or take some serious acid.

BOAT SHOE BINGE

I wasn't able to find the perfect pair last year, and trust me I tried. But this year, as boat shoes make it back for another season on the S/S runways, I am determined to own a pair(s) of these must haves. They are so Chuck Bass. And on that note, my beloved GOSSIP GIRL HAS RETURNED! And when she's right, she's right. I DO LOVE HER, and don't I KNOW IT.

Shearling Darling

Moi

So like I 'tweeted' several days ago (follow me --> http://twitter.com/_vctr_) on Twitter, I noticed that on the Fall 2010 runways there was a recurrent trend of Shearling Coats. Up until now, I had no idea that's what these coats were referred to, I actually don't even remember where I read or how I figured out that these types of coats are called "shearling coats". But the fact remains, shearling is the new military jacket of the season - which by the way I never found another military coat other than the too small Stella McCartney one at Gap Kids, it's still devastating. Back to the shearling, according to Wikipedia they are basically sheep or lamb skin pelt that goes through a shearing proccess to create a consistant texture throughout the wool. Yeah, that went straight through my head too. Whatevs, it looks like fur, just imagine an afro version. Now if that doesn't sound appealing, I don't know what does!

Now speaking of Gap Kids, and in relation to this trend, I was able to find my old shearling jacket from Gap Kids from the time I was ELEVEN (See above photo). I'll post a better photo soon that shows the entire jacekt, but this photo taken right before I left for school yesterday morning will have to do for now. But it amazes even me that I can still fit into it. Not only that, but it's actually a perfect fit all around other than the sleeves which are about two inches too short. The sleeves aren't a problem though since I have a habit of rolling up any and all sleeves if possible. So what? I like to show a little wrist cleavage. It's my perogative.

Burberry Prorsum

YSL

Band of Outsiders

Prada


All photos from GQ.com